Sara's Silly Sexy Talk Show
by Dangly Chicken Inc
Summary: Woo hoo...Complete insanity...and try saying the title 5 times fast!


Title: Sara's Strange Silly Sexy Talk Show  
  
Author: Sara-Jane Echidna (no H!!! LOL) (Dangly Chicken Inc)  
  
Rating: R (I think)  
  
Genre: HUMOUR!!! (sex humour lol)  
  
Summary: Well...need I say more? There's sex, aliens, horny Doggett...Let's go!  
  
Spoilers: none.  
  
Key:  
  
[] = action  
  
**=low voice  
  
() =audience/person reaction  
  
~~=stressed word  
  
--=offstage  
  
A/N: I don't own any X-Files characters, Cartman off South Park, Homer Simpson or any other famous characters. I DO own Sara, Izzi, Nightshade and Nightshade's guns. SO DON'T SUE ME!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------  
  
[Talk Show music plays as Sara walks on stage.]  
  
Sara: Hello and Welcome to my talk show!!! Today we are gonna meet some FBI agents (audience whoops, oohs and aahs) and they work on a VERY special part of the agency...*when I say special I mean they're the weirdo freaks*...First off let's meet the creator of this part of the agency...DIANA FOWLEY!!!  
  
[Diana walks onto the platform wearing...well a piece of Clingfilm]  
  
Sara: welcome Diana. Now you are the creator of the X-Files...is that correct?  
  
Diana: Yes.  
  
Sara: And your ~husband~ Fox Mulder told you to stay away from these cases....correct?  
  
Diana: Yes.  
  
-Mulder: YOU LYING BITCH!!!!-  
  
Sara: Well....we have here your husband Fox Mulder. Fox if you'd like to come out...  
  
[Mulder comes onstage and immediately tries to kill Fowley]  
  
Sara: Well....I normally don't condone violence but it gets the ratings!!!  
  
Mulder: DIE YOU LYING BITCH!!! DIE!!!!  
  
[Mulder kills Fowley]  
  
Sara: [wiping bits off gunk off her reading glasses] MAKEUP!!! NIGHTSHADE NOW!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS HERE!!!  
  
[Nightshade runs onstage and redoes Sara's hair and makeup so its flesh and blood free]  
  
Nightshade: *Erm...Sara....you got cum dripping off your skirt...n that ain't my job*  
  
Sara: SHIT!!! We'll be back after this break.  
=================================================================  
Scene: Behind the scenes  
  
Sara: WARDROBE!!! GET IN HERE NOW!!!  
  
[Izzi, the wardrobe co-ordinator runs in with all her clothes]  
  
Izzi: We only get one classy outfit per show....all we got left is men's clothes and slut outfits...which would you prefer?  
  
Sara: Slut...I don't want no-one thinkin that I'm a trannie!  
  
Izzi: Ok. DANA!!! MONICA!!! GET IN HERE!!! I NEED YOU TO TAKE YOUR OUTFITS!!!  
  
[Dana and Monica come in, hair messed up and breathless]  
  
Scully: What? We're busy...  
  
-Doggett: Girls...the master's waiting...-  
  
Reyes: What do you want us for?  
  
Izzi: Select your outfits please.  
  
Both: OK.  
  
[They look along the rack and both come to an outfit...if ya can call it that...]  
  
Scully: THAT'S SO COOL!  
  
Reyes: No way bitch its mine!  
  
[They start fighting]  
  
Scene: 3 hours later  
  
[Scully and Reyes are still fighting over the outfit...Mulder was busy shagging Doggett and Sara was flirting with Skinner]  
  
Doggett: YES OH FUCK ME MULDER!!!  
  
Izzi: Night are we the only normal ones left???  
  
Nightshade: I think so...wanna get my guns?  
  
Izzi: Why?  
  
Nightshade: *So we can shoot all these gay wankers and take over the show for our own pornographic purposes*  
  
Izzi: Ok.  
  
[Nightshade and Izzi go off to find Nightshade's guns]  
  
Scene: Onstage  
  
[The audience were getting restless and throwing stuff at the porn on TV]  
  
Random alien: DIE PORNOGRAPHIC ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blows up the TV]  
  
Audience: OI ASSHOLE WE WERE WATCHING THAT!!!!!!!! [Go to kill the alien]  
  
[The alien grabs Cartman off South Park and starts raping him]  
  
Cartman: Off...me....you....gay....motherfucker!!!  
  
[Suddenly Homer Simpson steps out of the audience and starts shooting the roof with a machine gun]  
  
Homer: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
[The roof falls down and kills everyone just as Nightshade and Izzi come back]  
  
Night and Izzi: YOU ASSHOLES WE WANTED THIS STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
=================================================================  
  
Ok well....as I've scared myself enough...I'll see what happens next! 


End file.
